First, read this advent devotional from one of our church members: http://fbcadvent.wordpress.com/2009/12/14/december-14th/.
Re-read that last paragraph:
As a result, I find them working their hardest to achieve and master the things they are MOST praised for…It’s showing our children what really matters, what will get them the most praise and attention from us. And guess what? That’s exactly what they will put their heart and soul into: Sports, Education, Talents, etc. Why don’t we all challenge ourselves this Season to show our children that Fruits of the Spirit of Christ are far more receiving of praise than anything else? What better way to love the Lord with all our heart, soul, and strength than teaching our children what really matters in this life- Christ and bearing His fruit.
This applies to Student Ministry as well as child rearing. We go to see our kids play football or soccer. We listen to their band or choir concerts. We attend high school musicals. And we praise them for how well they performed, for how talented they are, for how hard they worked.
And at youth group…we thank and praise and shine the spotlight on the kids that sing well, play instruments, speak well in public, have “amazing testimonies,” etc., ect. What values are we reinforcing when we do this?
Now don’t get me wrong…I’m all about affirming and encouraging students to use their God-given talents. For some students, your words of praise and affirmation may be the only they ever hear. There is something incredibly powerful about an adult telling a teenager or child, “You did well. And I’m proud of you.”
But when we hold our words of praise and recognition only for when they accomplish something, when they do something well, when they perform…what are we teaching them? We may be emphasizing a false sense of self-worth based only in performance.
I like what Bonnie had to say about showing equal praise and recognition when students do simple, Christ-like things like:
- showing forgiveness to a friend who wronged them
- letting the elderly lady in front of them in line at the covered-dish lunch
- taking off their cap during prayer
- being open and honest in small group discussions. I could go on.
Let’s trully be counter-cultural and Christ-like in how and when we praise our students. Let’s help re-wire their thinking on what is trully praiseworthy, and “teach our [students] what really matters in this life- Christ and bearing His fruit.”
